


Newt Scamander's Observations on the Human Species

by Badgers_and_Bookworms



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (movie)
Genre: F/M, Family, Family Feels, Fantastic Beasts, Fluff, Flying, Hogwarts, Hufflepuff, Ilvermorny, Slow Burn, Wampus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-09-03 11:59:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8712958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badgers_and_Bookworms/pseuds/Badgers_and_Bookworms
Summary: Newt Scamander has never really had a group of friends before. Now that he has, he's realizing that humans can be just as beautiful and complex as the magical creatures he cares for. Each with their own unique traits that can be both positive and negative. It's rather confusing to be honest.Here are a few of his observations, along with the stories behind them.





	1. Laughter

**Author's Note:**

> In all my time spent studying the magical creatures of the world I've never had much of a chance to study the habits of my fellow humans. Not terribly surprising, considering the fact that I've only ever been close enough to one person to consider them a friend. However, an interesting result of my time spent in New York is that I seem to have acquired three friends. 
> 
> Since many of my previous interactions with large groups of my peers have typically been negative experiences, it interests me to find that some human mannerisms I had previously interpreted as having negative meanings turned out to be very positive things when it comes to Jacob, Queenie, and Tina.
> 
> -Newt Scamander

Laughter 

Prior to befriending Jacob I was only familiar with three types of laughter. Mocking laughter, sympathetic laughter, and dismissive laughter, all of which I first observed during my time at Hogwarts. However, through close observance of my newly acquired friends, I have found that eachof them laughs in their own unique way. 

Jacob laughs the most when he is nervous. I've observed that whenever he is lost for words, overwhelmed, or generally nervous he laughs. It's a diversionary tactic. An attempt at seeming less terrified than he actually is. I have noticed that he seems to do it the most when talking to or about Queenie. I can only assume that something about her must terrify him very much. 

Speaking of the younger Miss Goldstein, she seems to always be laughing. (Perhaps a more accurate descriptor would be giggling?) Whenever she's happy or amused the laughter seems to bubble up out of her. Due to her impressive mind reading skills she has a habit of bursting into giggles during moments of silence, having overheard a particularly amusing thought. (Often one of her elder sister's. I'm starting to think it's their way of talking about me and Jacob when they don't want us to know.) 

While her younger sister seems to be giggling her way through life, Porpentina Goldstein saves her laughter for special moments. Tina tends to express her amusement through small smiles and quiet chuckles. Moments of actual laughter are few and far between, but well worth the wait. In fact, we'd been friends for several months before I heard her laugh for the first time. -Newt Scamander 

 

Newt Scamander and the Laughter Experiment 

It was Jacob who managed it first. He was halfway through retelling the story of he and Newt's Erumpent adventure in the Central Park Zoo*, when Tina let out a very un-Tina-like giggle, which quickly dissolved into full out laughter. Both Newt and Jacob stared at her in surprise. 

"Are you okay?" Newt asked, perplexed by this unusual behavior. 

"Yes!" Tina gasped, "It's just...I mean...you..and the...the mating dance..and you're just so...so serious...it's funny." 

Usually Newt would have been bothered by someone laughing at him like that, but something about the way Tina laughed made him see how amusing the Erumpent mating dance must look to everyone else. 

"Yeah," he chuckled, "yeah I suppose it is." 

Tina beamed at him, cheeks flushed from laughter, and he was hit with a sudden desire to hear her laugh again**. So Newt decided to conduct an experiment to figure out how to make Tina laugh***.

Back before he'd been kicked out of Hogwarts Newt was always getting himself into sticky situations that his classmates found amusing. He'd always been rather clumsy, and he'd observed that his classmates found it hilarious when he knocked over ink wells and goblets or tripped**** and fell into cauldrons and down flights of stairs, even if he didn't do it on purpose. And of course everyone had found his strange obsession with magical creatures odd. 

He decided to start there, figuring if he rambled on about Erumpent for long enough she'd find it amusing. (After all, it was his Erumpent mating dance that had made her laugh in the first place.) 

"I first observed the Erumpent during my travels through Africa," Newt informed her one afternoon over lunch, "They're fairly commonplace there, although African witches and wizards tend to stay away from them because of their horns." 

"What about their horns?" Tina asked. 

"Well they contain this sort of fluid that, when injected into objects, usually makes them explode. And they can pierce through metal, so it's really best to stay away from them just in case. They're usually quite docile. Although there are some people who think it best to just get rid of them all. Of course those are generally the people who get mauled. But it's a pretty big problem, considering their numbers are naturally low due to the large number of males who end up exploding during mating," 

"So is that how you learned that ridiculous mating dance," Tina asked, "You watched some poor male Erumpent get blown up?" 

"Well...erm...yes," Newt said, "I used to have two." 

"Fascinating," Tina said. 

Something about the way she said it made him believe she really did find Erumpent mating habits interesting, Still, she hadn't laughed, which was discouraging. Usually he stuttered more when telling people about his beasts, but he felt comfortable talking to Tina. Maybe that was the problem. 

Spilling things didn't work either. He'd just made her mad at him. Granted, he probably shouldn't have spilled ink all over her very important MACUSA papers. He decided not to try a second time. 

After much consideration he decided the best plan of action would be to trip down the stairs while carrying a load of books. 

Jacob didn't approve of the plan. ("If you want to make her laugh just tell her a joke or something.") Newt knew from experience that people didn't find it very funny when he tried telling jokes. He also knew from experience that they did find it funny when he fell down stairs. He decided to go with that he knew. He just underestimated how long the flight of stairs was. And he'd forgotten how hard it is to catch yourself when carrying an armload of books. Two miscalculations which resulted in him hitting his head rather hard on the way down. 

"Newt! Are you okay?!" 

Newt sat up, blinking, and tried to make sense of the two very worried looking Tinas swimming before his eyes. Neither one seemed to be laughing. 

"I'm fine," he said, focusing on the Tina he thought was real, "Just a little phased." 

"You're bleeding," Tina told him, brow furrowed, "I think you might have a concussion." 

Newt nodded. She was pretty when she was worried about him. He wanted to tell her but before he could she was hoisting his arm around her shoulders and pulling him up from the floor and helping him back into her apartment. 

"We oughta clean that cut up," she said, sitting him down at the kitchen table. She began bustling about the kitchen, grabbing bandages and a jar of ointment. "I wish Queenie were here," she fretted, "she's so much better at this sort of stuff." 

"Sorry Tina," Newt mumbled sheepishly, as she began to dab at the cut on his forehead with a damp cloth. 

"Hush," Tina said, pushing the jar of bright pink ointment across the table towards him, "Put this on that cut." 

"No really, I'm sorry," Newt insisted, dabbing the pink salve onto his forehead. 

"There's nothing to apologize for," Tina said, "It was an accident." 

"Erm...about that," Newt said, "It might not have been an accident." 

"What do you mean?" Tina asked, brow furrowing again, "You fell down the stairs on purpose?" 

"Something like that, yeah," Newt admitted. 

"Why?" 

"I thought it would make you laugh." He said, staring down at the table to avoid her angry gaze.

There was a long silence before Tina spoke again. 

"Let me check you for a concussion." 

Newt nodded, allowing her to shine her wand into his eyes. 

"I think you should be fine. Although you should be glad you weren't seriously hurt," she scolded. 

Newt nodded. 

"I'm glad you're okay," she said gently. Then she smacked him hard on the shoulder. "Don't ever do anything like that again! Why the hell would I find that funny?!"

"It seemed to amuse people back at Hogwarts," Newt explained. 

The anger on Tina's face melted away, replaced by a look of sadness and sympathy. "Oh Newt," she breathed. 

"I might have miscalculated a bit," he admitted. 

"Newt, I'm your friend, I'm not going to laugh if you've really hurt yourself." 

"Ahh, you see, that's the problem," Newt said, "I didn't have any of those back at Hogwarts." 

"That must have been awful," Tina said. 

"Not really," Newt assured her, "I usually prefer beasts to humans." 

Tina smiled and sat down in the chair next to him. "Tell me about it." 

"What?" 

"Tell me about Hogwarts." 

"I wouldn't know where to start. What have you already heard?" He asked. 

"I know you have four houses, just like Ilvermorny, but I don't know how you get sorted into them." 

"We've got a hat," Newt explained. 

"A hat?" Tina asked. 

"Yes, a sorting hat." 

"How does a hat sort you into houses?" Tina asked. 

"Well, it sits on your head and decides which house you should go into based on the thoughts it finds there," Newt explained.

"It talks?" 

"Sometimes it sings." 

Tina looked at him like he was insane. 

"Well of course it talks, how else is it supposed to tell you which house you belong in?" Newt said. 

"Okay, let's say I believe you. What house did it say you belonged to?" She asked. 

"Hufflepuff," Newt said proudly, puffing out his chest a little. 

"Hufflepuff?" Tina scoffed, "What sort of name is Hufflepuff?" 

"A very good one, thank you very much," Newt said. 

"What are the other houses?" Tina asked. 

"Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin." 

"Oh that's hilarious!" Tina said, "Where in the world did you come up with those?" 

"They're the names of the four founders. Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, Godric Gryffindor, and Salazar Slytherin." 

"We've got four founders as well," Tina told him. 

"Of course, because your school is basically a discount Hogwarts." 

"Hey!" Tina said, "At least our house names aren't ridiculous. I think you'd like them, they're all named after magical creatures." 

"Oh yeah? What house were you in?" Newt asked. 

"Wampus," Tina said.

"That's no better than Hufflepuff!" Newt exclaimed. 

"The Wampus happens to be a very powerful magical creature," Tina told him. 

"A powerful magical creature with an absolutely ridiculous name!" 

"Well at least we don't have a singing hat!" 

"What about ghosts? Do you have those at your precious Ilvermony?" 

"No, but we've got a Puckwudgie named William," Tina told him. 

And at that they both dissolved into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * A story that never failed to make Queenie laugh, although she was in the habit of laughing at most of Jacob's stories, even if they weren't particularly funny. According to Tina it's part of her own mating ritual: flirting. 
> 
> ** Newt failed to notice, but this was also the first time his friends heard him laugh. 
> 
> *** He could've just asked Queenie, but it felt like cheating. 
> 
> **** By the very classmates who found it so hilarious, of course.


	2. Screams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got one more chapter planned, crying, but if you have another idea for a behavior for Newt to observe then feel free to let me know.

Screams 

I've heard my fair share of screams in my life. When you work with a host of magical creatures that many people seem to think are dangerous, you tend to hear a lot of terrified screaming*. 

It wasn't until I met the Goldstein sisters that I heard a scream that wasn't caused by fear, pain, or anger. I've discovered that when it comes to Tina and Queenie screaming isn't always a bad thing. 

Queenie in particular screams when she's excited. These screams are usually punctuated with much hopping and flapping of the hands. Sometimes Tina hops with her, but usually Tina only screams happily when she is exhilarated. 

-Newt Scamander 

Tina Goldstein and the Flying Adventure

Before she met Newt Scamander, Porpentina Goldstien had never really seen the appeal of magical creature. They were a threat to security, always causing a mess of trouble. They were a nuisance to be dealt with as quickly and effectively as possible. 

Then she met Newt and his case of beasts and she began to second guess herself. 

Yes, they did cause their fair share of trouble, but Newt's creatures were much more than annoyances. The more time she spent with them, the more she became intrigued by their unique skills and human-like personalities. And by the unique and wonderful man who took care of them all. 

She'd read Newt's book cover to cover the night she got it, and several times since then, but the book couldn't possibly compare to the creatures themselves. 

She started out just watching. She'd find an excuse to spend hours at a time in the case with Newt. At first he tried to talk to her, unused to having someone in the case with him, but soon he lapsed back into his usual routine. She almost preferred it that way, because she got to watch him interacting with the creatures he cared for so deeply. 

Then one day Newt asked if she'd help him with the bowtruckles. She held one of the leafy, stick-like creatures in her hand, marveling in its simple beauty, and laughing as it crawled up her arm, tickling her skin. 

After that, it became common for Tina to lend a hand whenever Newt could use the help. He started her off small, with bowtruckles and puffskiens, but over time the beasts got larger and more dangerous. He taught her about the feeding habits of Mooncalves, showed her how to get gold out of the Niffler, and even had her help him nurse a unicorn foal back to health**. She enjoyed watching and learning about Newt just as much as she enjoyed watching and learning about the beasts, marveling at his endless patience and energy. 

~~~~~~~

"I've been looking forward to this," Newt said excitedly, "I think you'll really like him." 

Tina wasn't sure wether to be excited or scared as he led her past the kneazles that she'd cared for the week prior, and into the part of the case where he kept the larger beasts. She followed him through a stand of trees that towered above their heads, blocking out most of the light from the artificial sun, and into a large open clearing. She could tell that the ceiling, charmed to look like a sunny sky, was much higher here than in the rest of the case. 

"He'll be here in a moment," Newt said, his blue eyes bright with excitement, "You'll see. He's absolutely beautiful." 

They waited in silence for a very long time. Tina was about to ask what they were waiting for, when out from the shadows of the trees emerged one of the most beautiful creatures Tina had ever laid eyes on. 

"Tina, meet Goldenfeather the Hippogriff." 

He was huge, with the tawny colored head of an eagle and the strong, muscular torso of a horse. His steel colored beak looked strong and sharp enough to bite through her arm, and his bright orange eyes conveyed a look of intelligence and pride. What really took Tina's breath away was his wings, easily as wide as she was tall, and covered in beautiful golden brown feathers. 

Newt stepped forward and bowed deeply to the creature, who immediately bowed back. 

"He's gorgeous," Tina breathed. 

"Isn't he?" Newt said, reaching up to give the Hippogriff an affectionate scratch. "My mother breeds fancy hippogriffs, but they're nothing compared to Goldie here." 

Tina watched in awe as the great beast nuzzled at Newt's hand. 

"I know what you want," Newt said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out what appeared to be a dead rat. He tossed the rat into the air and Goldenfeather caught it with a sharp snap of his powerful beak. 

Tina gulped nervously. 

"Do you want to pet him?" Newt asked. 

"Ummm..." 

Newt laughed, "Don't be afraid. Just bow to him, and if he bows back that means he'll let you touch him." 

"What if he doesn't bow back?" Tina asked. 

"Then you'll want to get very quickly out of the way," Newt told her. Then, seeing the nervous look on her face, added, "Don't worry, he'll bow back." 

"Alright," Tina took a deep breath and bowed deeply to the Hippogriff.

There was a long, terrifying pause as the beast considered her. It felt like his dark orange eyes were staring straight into her soul. Then the moment ended as he bowed back to her and she was able to breathe again. 

"Go ahead and pet him," Newt told her, "Like this." He grabbed her hand and gently guided it in soft, deliberate strokes across Goldie's soft feathers and silky fur. 

"You were right," Tina said, looking up at him, "I do like him." 

Newt grinned down at her, "Do you want to ride him?" 

"Oh no," Tina said, pulling her hand away from his, "I think this is enough for today." 

"Come on," Newt said, placing a hand on her shoulder, and causing her heart to skip a beat, "I promise I won't let you fall." 

Tina stared at him for a long moment, seeing the sincerity in his face, and decided to trust him. "Okay," she nodded, "I'll do it." 

"Fantastic!" Newt said, "I'll help you up." 

Newt mounted Goldie with practiced ease, reaching down to help Tina up. Once she was settled behind him on the Hippogriff's back, Tina reached up and wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling him stiffen at her touch. 

"Is this okay?" She asked. 

"Yes," he said, relaxing slightly, "Just hold on tight." 

Tina leaned forward, taking a deep, steadying breath. She was close enough to Newt to smell the faint scent of pine and freshly churned earth that always lingered around him. Then Newt spurred Goldfeather forward and she didn't have time to ponder how comforting that scent had become to her, because all the thoughts in her head had been replaced by sheer terror. 

At first they were flying through trees, branches whipping in their faces, Tina crouching close behind Newt to avoid being hit. Then they broke through the canopy and her fears were forgotten. 

The view from the sky was amazing. They could see the entire case from where they were. Goldenfeather flew them over the tops of the trees, then down through the mountainous peaks where the Graphorns lived, and over the lake that was home to the hippocampus. 

When they reached the middle of the dazzlingly bike water he flew up, completing a dizzying loop, before diving back down towards the lake. Tina screamed with delight as the wind whipped through her hair, although she didn't dare let go of Newt for fear of falling. Just when it looked like they were about to hit the water at a painful speed, Goldenfeather turned sharply to the left, skimming the surface with his talons before flying back towards the forest. 

It was over almost as soon as it had begun. Goldie landed smoothly back in the forest clearing, and Newt slid off his back. He reached up to help Tina down, but she hopped off without his assistance. 

Her heart was still pounding in her chest and she was breathing heavily from excitement. Newt, however looked very upset. 

"I'm sorry Tina," he said, brow furrowed with concern. 

"What do you mean?" Tina asked. 

"You didn't like it," Newt said. 

"Are you kidding me?" Tina exclaimed, "That was amazing! I loved it." 

"Really?" Newt asked hopefully. 

Tina nodded, reaching up to stroke Goldie's side. 

"But-but what about the screaming?" Newt asked nervously, "Weren't you scared?" 

"Well yeah," Tina said, "But I screamed because it was exciting, not because I didn't like it." 

Newt stared at her, processing this new bit of information. 

Suddenly she felt a surge of sympathy for him, and before she could think to much or talk herself out of it, she lunged forward and threw her arms around him in an awkward hug. 

He froze, clearly unsure of what to do in the unexpected situation, but Tina held onto him tightly, determined to let him know that everything was okay. More than okay really. He'd convinced her to face her fears, pushed her last what she though her limits were more times than she could count, and she loved him for it. After a moment she felt his arms wrap securely around her, and she was enveloped in the comforting smell of pine and earth. 

"You're sure you liked it?" He whispered. 

"Very sure," she laughed, pulling back so she could grin at him. 

He grinned back at her, the mischievous spark of excitement returning to his eyes, "Just wait until you get to ride a dragon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Typicallly it's the larger, more fangy creatures that scare people. However there was an unfortunate incident with Pickett and a little girl once. 
> 
> ** It being a well known fact that unicorn foals prefer women to men. Even men who refer to themselves as mummy.


	3. Crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute. This chapter was surprisingly hard to write, but I think all the struggling paid off. I hope you guys like it.

Crying  
Like screaming, crying usually indicates pain, sadness, and in some cases anger. It is most common in cases of extreme and overwhelming emotion. However, I have discovered that these emotions don't always have to be negative. In fact, it seems to be quite common for crying to occur in situations of extreme happiness. 

This is a behavior I first observed in Queenie, who seems to be very easily overwhelmed by emotions, happy or otherwise. 

-Newt Scamander 

 

Jacob Kowalski and the Engagement Escapade 

It always had something to do with the Niffler. If you asked Jacob, that thing was more trouble than it was worth. He knew Newt had a soft spot for the creature, he just wished that he'd do a better job keeping the damn thing inside the case. 

"You really shouldn't have left the ring just lying around like that," Newt told him. 

"It was locked inside my desk drawer!" Jacob said. 

"A desk drawer is nothing to a Niffler," Newt muttered. "Don't worry," he added, seeing the look on Jacob's face,"We'll get that ring back. We just have to find him." 

"And how do you propose we do that?" Jacob asked, "I'm meeting Queenie for dinner in two hours, and I can't ask her to marry me without a ring." 

"Don't worry!" Newt said, "All we need is a little help." 

~~~~~~~

"You lost the engagement ring?" Tina said angrily. 

"No, we didn't lose the ring. We know where that is, the niffler has it," Newt told her. "Now the niffler, we don't know where he is." 

Tina glared at him. "You lost the engagement ring." 

"Yes, and we were hoping you could help us find it," Jacob told her. 

Tina smiled at him. "Of course. Anything for you and Queenie." 

"Wonderful!" Newt said. "With the three of us working together we should be able to find that niffler in no time." 

"Oh no! Has Newt lost his niffler again?" 

The three of them looked up to see Queenie standing in the doorway, eyes wide with concern. 

"What's wrong with all of you?" She asked. "You look like you've just seen a ghost." 

"We're fine," Jacob said quickly, hoping to deter her from delving into his thoughts. "Newt just misplaced his niffler again, that all.""

"Oh the poor darling," Queenie said. "Is there anything I can do to help find him?" 

"Oh no, that's alright Queenie," Newt said, a little too quickly. "We've got the situation under control." 

"The three of us are gonna find him," Tina told her. "Don't you worry about it."

"Nonsense!" Queenie said. "If the four of us work together we'll find him even faster." 

And that was the end of that, because none of them had the heart to say no to Queenie. It's not like they could've talked her out of it, even if they'd bothered to try 

~~~~~~~

"We'll split up," Newt suggested. "Jacob and Queenie will go check the shops. Start at the jewelry store where we found him the last time. Tina and I will start the bank on the other end of the street." 

"Hey Newt!" Jacob said, "Can I talk to you for a moment." He grabbed the magizoologizt and pulled him out of earshot of the Goldstien sisters. 

"You can't leave me alone with her!" 

"Look, I know she can be a bit overbearing, but you're going to have to get used to that if you're planning on marrying her," Newt said. 

"What?" Jacob frowned at him. "That's not it at all. If I'm acting too strange she'll read my mind, and then the proposal won't be a surprise." 

"Oh. Is that all?" Newt asked. "Just don't act too strangely and you'll be fine." 

Jacob wasn't sure that was something he could do, but Newt was already heading back over to Tina and Queenie. 

"If you find the niffler, just shoot some sparks from your wand and we'll come with the case," Newt instructed. 

"Don't worry Newt. We'll find him in no time," Queenie promised. "Come on Jacob!" 

~~~~~~~~

"Oh, it's no use!" Jacob declared as they left the fourth shop without a trace of niffler. 

"Don't worry, honey," Queenie said, placing a hand on his shoulder and making him flinch, "He'll turn up."

"He could be anywhere by now!" Jacob told her. "There's no way we can search the whole city in one night." 

"We don't have to find him today," Queenie said, "I'm sure he can survive in his own for a while." 

"No, you don't understand!" Jacob exclaimed, "It has to be tonight! We have a dinner reservation-" He stopped, glancing down at his watch to check the time. "Oh that's just great!" 

"What's wrong?" Queenie asked worriedly. 

"We missed our reservation," He told her. 

"Oh, well that's not so bad." Queenie told him. "We can just change the time." 

"No! You don't understand," Jacob groaned. "It was going to be perfect. Then the niffler had to go steal the damn r-" He stopped, realizing what he'd almost revealed. 

"The what?" Queenie asked, eyes wide. "Jacob, what did the niffler take?" 

He sighed, knowing it was no use trying to hide it from her anymore. "He stole the ring. The engagement ring." 

"Oh, honey!" Queenie gasped, covering her mouth with on hand. "You were going to propose?" 

Jacob nodded. 

"Oh no wonder you were so upset," she said. "I was starting to think you were mad at me. Or maybe you were going to break up with me and that's why you were acting so strange." 

"Of course not!" Jacob told her, reaching out to take her hands in his. "I love you." 

"I love you too Jacob!" Queenie said, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him. 

There were sparks. Literal sparks. Green ones, shooting up into the sky from the other end of the street. 

"They've found him!" Jacob exclaimed. 

Queenie grabbed his hand, turning sharply on the spot, and in an instant they were standing in front of the bank with Newt and Tina. 

"We've found him!" Newt said, pointing proudly to his case. 

"He'd cleared out most of the vaults when we finally tracked him down," Tina said. "So we had to return all that money." 

"While we were doing that we found something that belongs to you," Newt said. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the shining engagement ring.

"Oh Jacob," Queenie gasped, "it's beautiful!" 

Jacob smiled, taking the ring from Newt before getting down on one knee. "Queenie Goldstein-" 

"Yes!" Queenie said, beginning to tear up. 

"Will you marry me?" Jacob finished. 

"Yes! Of course!" Tears were streaming down her cheeks now as he slipped the ring onto her finger. 

"Why is she crying?" Jacob heard Newt whisper. 

"Because she's happy," Tina told him. 

"But-" 

"I'll explain later," Tina promised, "Just hush. You're going to ruin the moment." 

'She's wrong,' Jacob thought, taking Queenie into his arms, 'Nothing could ruin this moment.' 

Queenie nodded in agreement. Things might not have gone according to plan, but they'd been perfect anyway. Nothing could ruin this night. Not even a niffler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No footnotes this time. Interesting. I've gotten a few ideas for new chapters, so this isn't the end of this fic. If there's any behaviors you'd like to see Newt react to feel free to comment with any suggestions. Even if you don't have any suggestions feel free to comment. (I really like it when you do.) 
> 
> -Eva


	4. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are hell. That is all. Enjoy.

Family

Growing up, my family never really understood me. If I'm being completely honest I think I've been somewhat of a disappointment to them. What with my expulsion and all. My brother was always the favorite anyway. 

I have since discovered that this problem is not family's in general, but just my particular family. Things with the Goldstein Kowalskis are extremely different. Their family is full of love and support and acceptance and I think I might prefer it that way. 

-Newt Scamander 

Newt Scamander and the Pregnancy Predicament 

Queenie was screaming* and Newt wasn't sure what to do about it. Jacob was only supposed to have been gone for an hour or so, but it had been three hours since he left, and one hour since Queenie had gone into labor a week early. 

Newt had sent a panicked patronus to Tina at MACUSA, but hadn't received any response. He was not supposed to be the only one around when this happened. There was supposed to be a midwife! Tina was supposed to be here for moral support. Jacob needed to be here to see the birth of his child. Newt didn't belong here, he wasn't part of their little family, not really. 

Newt had been excited when the news of Queenie's pregnancy had reached him via one of Tina's frequent letters. He'd been even more surprised when she'd expressed their wish for him to come visit them in New York. 

'It's been far too long since we've seen you,' She'd written. 'We know you're busy being a successful author, but it would mean a lot to Jacob and Queenie if you could be here for the birth of their child. It would mean a lot to all of us.' 

So he'd taken a break from his research and travelled to New York. Now it seemed that he might be the only one to witness the birth of Jacob and Queenie's child. 

"Just try to stay calm," Newt said in what he hoped was a calming manner. "Keep breathing. I'm sure Jacob and Tina will be here shortly." 

"It hurts!" Queenie wailed, gripping Newt's hand so tightly that he was beginning to lose the feeling in it. 

"I think it's supposed to," Newt said, "That's how you know it's working." 

Queenie didn't seem to be reassured by this. She glared at him, clearly just as displeased as he was that he was the only one here. 

Newt had witnessed several births in his lifetime.** However, none of them had been human. He'd helped deliver several Graphorns, and figured if it came to it he could successfully deliver this baby as well. Although he didn't think Queenie would appreciate being fed sugar cubes as much as his female Graphorn. 

"They're not going to make it!" Queenie exclaimed. 

"Don't be ridiculous," Newt told her. "This is Tina we're talking about. I'm sure she's on her way right now with Jacob in tow. They've got plenty of time." 

~~~~~~~

They were running out of time. Newt didn't know much about human labor, but he was pretty sure that the baby was coming very soon. There was still no word from Tina. He was mentally preparing himself for what he'd have to do if Tina and Jacob didn't show up with the midwife.*** 

"What are we going to do Pickett?" Newt murmured to the bowtruckle in his pocket, glancing worriedly over at Queenie. 

Queenie was laying in her bed, eyes closed, breathing heavily. Her usually flawless golden curls limp against her pale, sweaty face. "I can't do it Newt," She panted. "Not alone." 

"You're not alone," Newt promised. "I'm here, and I'm sure they'll be here soon. Any minute now." 

He was about to lose hope when a loud 'crack' came from the living room, followed by the sound of frantic voices. 

"Where is she? Where's Queenie?" 

That was Tina's voice, thick with panic. 

"We're in here!" Newt called out in relief. 

"Are we too late? Did we miss it?" 

That was Jacob's worried voice. 

"I think you're just about right on time." Newt said as both of them burst into the room. 

"Jacob! Tina!" Queenie sat up, wincing in pain, but still extremely overjoyed. "You're here!" 

"Of course we're here!" Jacob said, moving to take Newt's place beside her. "You didn't think we'd miss this did you?" 

"Everything is going to be okay now," Tina promised. 

"Get out of the way! All of you!" Scolded the midwife. 

In all the hustle and bustle Newt was left quite forgotten in the corner. 

~~~~~~~

There was a moment where the entire world seemed to hold it's breath. A deep, anticipating silence that was broken by the wail of Queenie and Jacob's newborn child. 

"Its a girl!" The midwife declared. 

Newt watched as Jacob and Queenie held their daughter for the first time. He felt like he was intruding on a sacred and private moment.

Tina must have seen how uncomfortable he was because for the first time since she'd arrived she drew away from her sister's bedside. 

"Why don't we give them a moment of privacy?" She said quietly, grabbing Newt's hand and leading him from the room. "I've missed the beasts. Why don't we go say hello to them." 

~~~~~~~~

Newt smiled as he watched Tina greet the creatures she hadn't seen in several months. It was clear she'd missed them as much as they'd missed her. The niffler in particular had pouted for months last time they'd left New York, and subsequently Tina. Now he was happily curled up in her arms as she gave him an affectionate scratch behind the ears. 

"They really missed you," Newt said. "I really missed you." 

Tina smiled. "You'll have to visit more often. Especially now with the baby." 

Newt considered pointing out that Queenie and Jacob would probably have their hands full with their newborn daughter and wouldn't want him intruding in their lives, but before he could Jacob appeared in the doorway. 

"We've got everything settled up here. You can come meet her now if you want." Jacob told them. 

Tina was up in a flash, startling the niffler out of her lap. She was halfway to the door when she realized that Newt wasn't right behind her. 

"Aren't you coming?" She asked. 

"I think I'll just stay here. You go meet your niece," Newt told her. "I'll just be in the way." 

"Nonsense," Jacob said. "She'll want to meet her Uncle Newt too." 

Newt blinked at him, not sure if he'd understood. 

"Come on," Tina laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the door. "She's just a baby. It's not like she's scary. Compared to a dragon she's positively boring." 

***

"Tina, Newt, we'd like you to meet Theodora," Queenie said.

"Shes beautiful," Tina breathed, gently lifting her niece from Queenie's arms. Tears**** welling up in her eyes as she cradled the little girl close to her chest.*****

"You two will be her godparents of course," Jacob said. 

"We'll what?" Newt sputtered. 

"We want you to be her godparents," Queenie said. "Both of you." 

"But I'm not-" Newt began to protest. 

"You're our closest friend. There's nobody else we'd trust more than you," Jacob told him. 

"Surely there's someone better than me," Newt said. 

"Who was here for me while I was scared and in pain earlier?" Queenie asked. "You were, and I have no doubt you'd be there for Thea if she needed you." 

Newt turned to Tina, at a loss for words. 

"I think it's a great idea," Tina said. "You're one of the most loyal people I know." 

"But it should be family!" Newt protested. 

"You are family," Queenie said. "Don't you know that?" 

Newt didn't respond. Instead he stared intently at his feet. 

Someone touched his arm gently. He looked and met Tina's understanding gaze. 

"Do you want to hold her?" She asked. 

Newt nodded, and she gently placed Theodora into his arms. 

He stood there, holding his goddaughter in his arms, just watching her breathe. She might not have scales or claws or the ability to breathe fire, but she was fascinating all the same. It was then that he decided Queenie was right. Maybe he hadn't been looking for one, but he'd found a family here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not the good kind 
> 
> **Several more if you count hatchings
> 
> ***Considering the fact that Jacob and Queenie's marriage wasn't technically legal, they couldn't go to the wizarding hospital
> 
> ****The good kind 
> 
> *****In a rather similar manner to the way she'd been holding the niffler earlier, but Newt didn't think it would be polite to compare his friends' newborn child to a niffler


	5. Babies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I lost my original notes for the rest of this story, but I'm back now. I've got some exciting ideas for the next few chapters. As always, I'd love to hear your comments and suggestions.

Babies

I’ve never really understood babies. I’m perfectly aware where they come from. I also understand, from a biological standpoint, why people are so drawn to them. It's only natural to want to protect our young, survival of the species and all. 

I’ve just never understood, beyond a biological standpoint that is, why anyone would want one. 

It might seem somewhat hypocritical of me, as a man who spends his days taking care of an entire case full of magical creatures, but I’ve always seen babies as sort of an inconvenience. This could have something to do with he fact that, until Theodora Kowalski was born, I hadn’t spent much time with any human babies. 

Tina and I have been spending a fair amount of time with little Thea lately. Suffice it to say that I am beginning to see the appeal. 

-Newt Scamander

 

Newt Scamander and the Babysitting Adventure

Theodora Kowalski was beginning to remind Newt more and more of his Niffler.*

You see, Theodora was at an age where her fondest past time was stealing and sticking things into her mouth. She wasn’t very picky about it, she’d chew on anything and everything. So far the list included: Her mother’s necklaces, her father’s hair, Tina’s wand, and once, to Newt’s utter dismay, Pickett. 

She was admittedly adorable, with her big brown eyes and wisps of golden hair, but under all that cuteness she was somewhat of a menace. 

According to Queenie it was just a phase. 

“She’s teething right now. She’ll stop chewing on things once it’s over.”

Newt sorely hoped she was right. He’d had to stop carrying Pickett around in his pocket, and the little bow truckle was very cross with him. 

Despite all this, when Tina asked him to help babysit his goddaughter he found he couldn’t refuse. 

The evening had started out well. They’d spent the first hour reading stories from a copy of The Tales of Beetle the Bard that Newt had brought from home. Thea seemed perfectly happy to sit in Tina’s lap and look at the moving pictures as Newt read the stories aloud. 

It wasn’t until they tried to put her down for the night that the real problems began. 

“Goodnight Theodora,” Newt said softly as the two of them backed slowly away from her crib and out of the nursery. 

“You did pretty well for your first time babysitting,” Tina grinned up at him as she settled down on the sofa. 

Newt sat sown next to her. “Don’t tell Queenie, but it’s a lot like taking care of my creatures.” 

“Oh, well if it’s that easy maybe I should let you do it on your own next time Mr. Scamander,” Tina joked. 

Newt shook his head. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that much responsibility.”

“Thea would love it,” Tina said. “She adores you.” 

“For now,” Newt said. “I’m sure when she gets older she’ll realize how different I am.” 

Tina frowned at him. “Stop saying that like it’s a bad thing. You’re different because you’re the nicest person I know, and I’m- I mean-Thea is incredibly lucky to have you in her life.” 

Newt’s face reddened. “You really think so?”

“Of course,” Tina said. “She’ll grow up bragging to all her friends about her famous godfather and his funny case full of creatures.” 

“Thank you Tina, I-“ Newt began, but he was cut off by the most horrific wailing coming from the nursery. 

Tina leapt from the sofa and ran to the nursery, with Newt only a few steps behind her. 

There they found a red faced Theodora, sitting up in her crib with tears streaming down her pudgy cheeks, crying at the top of her lungs. 

Tina scooped the wailing baby into her arms and bounced her close to her chest. This was usually a surefire way to calm Thea down when she got fussy, but tonight she wasn’t having it. 

“You hold her,” Tina pushed Thea into Newt’s arms. “I’ll go get her bottle.” 

After a long drink from her bottle Thea stopped crying, but as soon as Newt tried to put her back in her crib she began to wail once more. 

Tina sat back down on the sofa, looking close to tears herself. “I wish I knew what was wrong with her,” She said. “Queenie would.”

“Queenie can read minds,” Newt paced back and forth across the room, gently bouncing Thea up and down in his arms. “It’s cheating.”

“She’s such a good mother,” Tina said, burying her face in her hands. “I’ll never be as good as she is.” 

She was obviously in need of comforting, but Newt wasn’t exactly sure how to do that. He settled down next to her on the couch, and patted her on the shoulder rather awkwardly. 

“I think you’ll make a great mother someday.”

Tina glanced skeptically up at him. She had a smudge of baby powder on her cheek, and Newt felt a strange urge to reach up and wipe it off. He kept talking instead. 

“You’re already a brilliant aunt,” Newt said. “Even if you can’t get Thea to sleep.”

“You really I’d be a good mother?” Tina asked. 

“I know so,” Newt said. “I mean, you’ve looked after Queenie all these years and she turned out relatively fine.” 

Tina laughed and Newt couldn’t help but smile. 

“That reminds me,” Tina said. “Whenever Queenie used to have nightmares I would sing this song to help her get to sleep. Let me see Thea.” 

Cradling Theodora gently in her arms, Tina began to sing. 

“I see the moon, and the moon sees me, shining through the leaves of the old oak tree.  
Oh, let the light that shines on me shine on the one I love. Over the mountain, over the sea, back where my heart is longing to be. Oh, let the light that shines on me shine on the one I love.”

Her voice started out quiet and timid, but as she kept singing her confidence increased. Soon the soothing sound of her voice filled the room. 

“I hear the lark, and the lark hears me, singing from the leaves of the old oak tree. Oh, let the lark that sings to me sing to the one I love. Over the mountain, over the sea, back where my heart is longing to be. Oh let the lark that sings to me sing to the one I love.”

By the time Tina finished signing, Theodora was soundly asleep. 

“That was beautiful Tina,” Newt whispered. 

“Oh that was nothing,” Tina said. “Queenie’s the one with the nice voice.” 

Newt disagreed. He’d heard Queenie sing plenty of times, but she had never moved him like Tina had. In fact, Newt couldn’t remember a time that music had ever moved his heart like that. He just wished Tina would believe him if he told her she was better than her sister.**

He didn’t dare tell her any of this. Tina had let down her walls completely, something she so rarely did that Newt almost felt like he was intruding on something. He didn’t want those walls to go back up. She’d been beautiful without them. Positively radiant.

Not that she wasn’t usually beautiful. Newt considered Tina to be one of the most beautiful people he’d ever met.*** It was just one of the many reasons he liked her so much. She was beautiful, she was clever, she was strong, she was…incredibly close to him just then. 

Funny how he’d never noticed how small the Kowalski’s sofa was. 

It was glaringly obvious, now that he was sitting there next to Tina, their legs just barely touching. She didn’t seem to notice their close proximity. She was staring down at the sleeping baby in her arms with a small smile on her lips. 

“Should we put her back in her crib?” Newt asked. 

“In a minute,” Tina said with a yawn. Her eyes fluttered closed as she settled back into the sofa, her shoulder pressing against Newt’s. “I just want to sit here for few more seconds.”

She was asleep within those few seconds, her head resting gently against his shoulder. 

Newt tried to stay awake, but the flat was so quiet, and Tina was so warm next to him that he couldn’t help but nod off as well. 

They were still there, an hour later, when Jacob and Queenie returned home.  
“Should we wake them up?” Jacob asked as Queenie retrieved her daughter from her sister’s arms. 

“No,” Queenie said with a small smile. “They’re happy, let them be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Strictly in the personality department. Newt wouldn’t dare harbor the thought that Queenie’s daughter might look anything like a Niffler.
> 
> **No offense to Queenie, she was perfectly lovely, but Newt was perfectly biased. 
> 
> ***Not that he’d ever actually told her.


	6. Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to post these in chronological order, but I don't think it's going to work that way. 
> 
> This chapter belongs on the timeline sometime between Crying and Family. Someone complained about not getting to see Queenie and Jacob's wedding. This is closer. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it. I always love getting your comments and suggestions. Enjoy! 
> 
> -Eva

Dancing

Dancing seems to be a popular pastime here in America, among both muggles and wizards. Recently, Queenie tried to teach me the Charleston, but I’m afraid I wasn’t very good at it. That isn’t to say I’m not any good at dancing. I happen to be proficient in several different dance styles. Granted, most of them are mating dances, but I also know how to waltz.*

-Newt Scamander

~~~~~~~~

Newt Scamander and the Wedding Waltz

Newt had never been to a muggle wedding before.** He was relieved to discover that Jacob and Queenie’s wedding was very similar to the wizarding weddings he’d been to.***

As Jacob’s best man, it was Newt’s job to help great all the Kowalski relatives as they entered the church. There were a lot of Kowalski relatives. Their sheer numbers made up for the fact that Tina was the only member of Queenie's family in attendance. 

Speaking of Tina, Newt was incredibly lucky that she was there to help him, because without her he would’ve forgotten half of the names he was supposed to have memorized. She’d taken her job as Older Sister/Maid of Honor/Wedding Coordinator incredibly seriously. She had every detail of the day planned out perfectly, and she was determined that nothing would go wrong under her watch.****

Newt was making awkward small talk with one of Jacob’s uncles when Tina came rushing over and, quite literally, yanked him away. 

Tina looked incredibly stressed. “The ceremony starts in twenty minutes and I’m still not changed. “ 

Newt rubbed his shoulder, and glanced around the room. Only a few stragglers were left filtering in. “Go get ready,” He said. “I can handle everything here.” 

“Are you sure?” Tina asked. 

“Incredibly so,” Newt said. “Everything is going to go perfectly. It’s your sisters wedding, go enjoy it.” 

~~~~~~

If Queenie was usually beautiful, she was positively radiant now. All eyes were on her as she and Jacob spun their way across the dance floor, sharing their first dance as husband and wife.  
Well, all eyes but Newt’s

Newt was more focused on the Goldstein sister standing next to him. Tina looked incredibly beautiful in her dark blue bridesmaids dress, but that wasn’t the only reason he was staring at her. He was worried about her. 

Tina kept glancing nervously about the room, as if she were expecting Grindlewald to pop out from behind a flower arrangement and start cursing people.

As the song changed, and more people began to join Jacob and Queenie on the dance floor, Newt offered her his arm. 

“Would you care to dance?” 

Tina glanced up at him, brown eyes wide with surprise. “Are you sure?” She asked.*****

“Absolutely.” 

Newt smiled at her as he took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. He placed his other hand on her waist, and they quickly fell into the steady, reliable rhythm of a waltz. Newt’s movements were so sure and practiced that Tina, who’d never really had time for dancing, found herself at somewhat of a disadvantage. 

“When did you learn to dance like this,” Tina asked. 

“Back at Hogwarts,” Newt said. “They hosted the Triwizard tournament during my fifth year. We all had to learn in preparation for the Yule Ball.” 

Tina nodded, she’d heard stories about the Triwizard tournament before. 

“Well I look like an absolute mess compared to you,” Tina said. “Everyone is staring.” 

“If they’re staring it’s only because of how beautiful you look tonight,” Newt said. 

Tina turned her face away from him, not really succeeding at hiding her flushed cheeks from him. Her eyes fell upon her sister and her brow furrowed with worry once more. The two of them slowed to a halt. 

“What’s wrong?” Newt asked.

Tina let out a heavy sigh. “I’m worried about her,” she admitted. “Jacob is wonderful, and he makes her so happy, but sometimes I wish they'd never met. Everything would be so much easier. 

“It’ll work out,” Newt said.

“How can you be so sure?” 

“Because they love each other. They won’t ever stop fighting for each other, and you won’t give up on them either,” Newt said. “I speak from experience when I say that you do not want to oppose Tina Goldstein.” 

Tina chuckled, but she still looked concerned. 

“I’ll always be there if you need me,” Newt said. “I’m only an owl away.” 

Suddenly, Tina threw her arms around his neck in a completely unanticipated hug. Newt hesitated for a moment before hugging her back. 

“Thank you Newt,” She said, her voice muffled against his chest. 

“Of course,” He said, pondering how nice her hair smelled, strangely disappointed when she pulled away. 

“You really are the best friend I could’ve asked for,” Tina said. 

“Oh…erm, right,” Newt said.

Just then, some rather loud shouting began at the other end of the room. 

“Looks like Cousin Mitzi and Cousin Rachel ran into each other after all,” Tina said. “I’ve gotta go deal with this.” 

She hurried away, leaving Newt standing all alone at the edge of the dance floor. 

“Such a nice girl,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind Newt.

He turned to find a a little old woman, sitting alone at a nearby table, fixing him with a gaze so intense it could’ve made a hippogriff blush.

“Can I help you?” Newt asked. 

“You’re the mysterious best man aren't you,” The woman said. “The one with the funny name.”

Newt glanced around, looking for someone who might come to his rescue. Here was nobody around. “That’s me”

“Sit down boy,” The woman said.

Possibly despite his better judgement, Newt sat down. 

“I’ve never seen him so happy,” The old woman said. 

“Seen who?” Newt asked, somewhat perplexed.

“Jacob of course,” snapped the old woman. “Who else?”

“Right..erm, of course.” 

“I don’t know how he found her, let alone how he managed to keep her, but she’s too pretty for him.” The woman said, nodding towards Jacob and Queenie. 

“They met at the bakery,” Newt said, not quite sure how to respond to that second part. “They’re very good for each other.” 

The old woman grunted, as if she didn’t quite believe him. “God knows she didn't marry him for the money, so I suppose she must really love him.”

Watching Jacob and Queenie interact, Newt wondered how anyone could doubt they were in love. He was not the most observant person, and even he could see it. His gaze wandered away from where Queenie was laughing at a joke Jacob had just told, towards where her sister was scolding Mitzi and Rachel Kowalski. 

The old woman followed his gaze, a knowing smile playing across her lips. 

“The sister, she’s rather pretty too.”

“Who, Tina?” Newt asked. “She’s great.”

The woman nodded. “You two make a lovely couple.”

Newt turned rather red. “Oh no! We’re not…we’re just friends.” He sputtered. 

The old woman arched an eyebrow at him in disbelief. 

“I would never…It’s not…” Newt said. “We’re just friends.”

"Are you done?” The old woman asked. 

Newt nodded. 

“You can argue all you want, but I think she likes you.” The old woman said. “I’m expecting an invitation to your inevitable wedding.”

Newt wasn’t sure how to respond. Luckily, he was saved from further embarrassment by the arrival of Jacob. 

“We’re taking a photo. Come on!” Jacob grabbed Newt by the arm and steered him away. “I’m sorry about Great Aunt Magda. She didn’t torment you too much, did she?” 

“We had an interesting talk,” Newt said. 

“Really?” Jacob said. “What did you talk about?” 

Newt glanced over to where Tina was standing, talking to Queenie to something with a contented smile on her face. 

“Nothing important,” Newt said, a small smile creeping onto his face.******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Which could possibly be considered a type of mating dance.  
> **Did it count ass a muggle wedding if the bride was secretly a witch?  
> ***Though there were significantly fewer floating objects  
> ****Newt’s suitcase wasn’t even allowed within a mile of the church.  
> *****Probably because she'd been there to witness the aforementioned Charleston incident.  
> ******He was lying.


	7. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this update took so long. I was on vacation with my family, and I just didn't have time to write.  
> This was one of my favorite chapters to write so far. I hope it was worth the wait. -Eva

Jealousy 

While I do not like to think of myself as a jealous person, I have to admit that I do get jealous from time to time. Some of the best people I know get jealous all the time. For example: Pickett gets very jealous whenever I spend too much time with Theodora, and vice versa. 

It’s only natural to be protective of the people you love, especially if they're your best friend, and you’re used to spending time them, and then all of a sudden they’d rather spend time with some tosser named Daniel!

-Newt Scamander

Every Friday evening Jacob and Queen hosted a family dinner at their flat. Tina’s job kept her busy most nights, but she always made time to stop by for dinner on Fridays. Whenever Newt was in town he was invited too. It was a special thing they shared as a family. Needless to say, it was incredibly unusual when Tina brought a stranger to dinner 

Newt was sitting on the floor of Jacob and Queenie's living room, entertaining Theodora by shooting sparks from the tip of his wand, when Tina arrived.

“Queenie I’m here!” Tina called into the kitchen as she shrugged off her dark gray coat. 

“Can I come in?” An unfamiliar voice said from the hall. An unfamiliar male voice. 

“Of course,” Tina said. “Get in here.” She reached out into the hall, grabbed the owner of the mysterious voice by the arm, and pulled him into the flat. 

He was tall. That was the first thing Newt noticed about the stranger. He was taller than Newt, which, for some reason, made Newt incredibly annoyed. 

“I thought I might have to eat out in the hall,” the man joked. 

Tina laughed, harder than she should've.*

The man took off his hat, ran his fingers through his thick dark hair, and flashed Tina an annoyingly charming smile. His teeth we’re so white that Newt was surprised Tina didn’t go blind just by looking at them. 

“Thank you again for inviting me to dinner Tina,” the stranger said.

“No problem,” Tina said, smiling up at him.

He smiled back at her. 

She kept smiling at him. 

There was altogether too much smiling going on in Newt’s opinion.

“Erm…hello?” Newt said. 

It was obvious that Tina hadn’t realized that Newt was there, because she nearly jumped out of her skin. “Newt! I didn’t see you there.”

“Who’s your friend?” Newt asked, eyeing the stranger distrustingly. 

“Newt, this is Daniel Peterson. He’s a friend from work. Daniel, this is Newt Scamander.” 

“Newt Scamander?” Daniel asked. “The Newt Scamander?”

“The one and only,” Tina said. 

“I loved your book,” Donald said, flashing Newt one of his blinding smiles. 

Newt was not charmed. 

“It’s always nice to meet a fan,” Newt said, although the scowl on his face said otherwise. 

They were saved from an incredibly awkward conversation by Queenie poking her head into the living room. “Tina! You brought a friend.”

“This is Daniel. He just transferred to my department and I-”

“You’ve been showing him around the office all week,” Queenie said. 

“I’m sorry if I’m intruding,” Daniel said. “I’m just new in town and-”

“You didn’t have anywhere else to go,” Queenie said. “I know. That won't be a problem at all.”

“Are you reading our minds?” Daniel asked. 

Queenie blushed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s fascinating,” Daniel said. “Can you do that?”

Tina shook her head. “Unfortunately it doesn’t run in the family.”

“That’s a pity. Imagine how useful that would be in the Auror department. Have you ever considered becoming an Auror?” He asked Queenie.

“Oh no,” Queenie giggled. “Tina’s the career girl in the family. I’m too busy being a mother.” 

“Well I’m sure your little mind reading trick comes in handy with that as well,” Daniel said. “You must be a wonderful mother.” 

“Well aren’t you sweet,” Queenie said. “Jacob’ll be home in a bit. I’ve got to go finish dinner.”

The silence that followed her departure was long and incredibly awkward. Thea took full advantage of the situation by attempting to stick Newt’s wand into her mouth. 

“Oh no you don’t.” Tina scooped the little girl into her arms. “We do not chew on people’s wands, naughty girl.”

“This must be Theodora!” Daniel exclaimed. “Can I hold her?”

“Of course!” Tina gently passed him the baby. 

“Hello Thea!” Daniel said.

Theodora just stared at him.

“I’ve heard so much about you, and I just have to say that you are the second prettiest girl in this room,” Daniel said, tapping Thea on the nose. 

Newt groaned. 

Tina blushed. 

Thea grinned, showing off her newly acquired teeth, and giggled. 

“Traitor,” Newt muttered. 

“What was that?” Tina said. 

“Nothing.”

“Is something wrong?” Tina asked, brow furrowed in concern. 

“No!” Newt said, rather defensively. “Why would you think that?”

“You just seem kind of tense,” Tina told him. 

“I’m fine,” Newt said.**

~~~~~~~

Newt hadn’t even made it through dinner. He’d excused himself from the table just before dessert, muttering something about having to take care of his creatures. 

Daniel had offered his assistance with Newt’s creatures, claiming it would be “an honor to work with such an expert.” Usually Newt would’ve been thrilled to see someone taking such an interest in his work, but he had a funny feeling that Daniel had more of an interest in Newt’s fame than his creatures. 

Needless to say, Newt had declined the offer. 

Daniel reminded Newt too much of his brother. The Auror had the same charming confidence that made people immediately like Theseus Scamander. He’d spent the entire meal complimenting everything from Queenie’s cooking to Jacob’s mustache, and the obvious flattery got on Newt’s nerves.***

Which was why he was now hiding in Jacob and Queenie’s guest bedroom. 

Newt was pacing anxiously back and forth across the room, when he heard the door of the flat open, accompanied by the muted chatter of Daniel’s goodbye. He waited a few minutes longer before poking his head into the hallway.

The flat was quiet. In fact, if it weren’t for the nasty feeling that had been clawing at Newt’s chest ever since Daniel had shown up, it could almost pass for a normal Friday night. 

Newt snuck out into the hallway, heading towards the living room. As he passed by the kitchen he heard Queenie and Tina talking in hushed tones. They were standing side by side in front of the sink, washing dishes with their heads conspiratorially close to eachother. It seemed as if they were trying not to be overheard, so, naturally, Newt stopped to listen. 

“Isn’t Daniel great?” Tina was saying. 

“He’s sweet,” Queenie said, elbows deep in soapy dishwater. “I just wish you’d told us he was coming.” 

“I know I should have,” Tina said. “He just didn’t have anywhere to go, and he's been so nice to me.” 

“I know,” Queenie said. “I just get nervous with strangers in the house.”

“Oh Queenie, you know I would never-”

“I know,” Queenie said. “You really like him don't you?” 

Tina nodded. 

Queenie frowned, as if the idea of her sister and Daniel together bothered her. “But what about-”

“Stop it Queenie,” Tina set down the plate she was drying and glared at her sister. “I like Daniel, and I think he actually likes me back. That’s all there is to it.” 

Newt had heard enough. He snuck back down the hallway to the guest bedroom. He spent the rest of the evening sulking in his case, wondering why it bothered him so much that Tina liked this Daniel fellow. 

~~~~~~~

 

A few days later, Newt popped by Tina’s flat, case in hand, looking for assistance with a magical creature related problem. 

“Oh! Hi Newt,” Tina said when she answered the door. She seemed surprised to see him there, as if she’d been expecting someone else. 

“Tina! I’m glad you’re here,” Newt said. “I’m having a bit of trouble with one of the unicorn foals, and I was hoping you could lend a hand. They tend to prefer your company to mine.”

“I’d love to, on any other night, but I can’t tonight,” Tina said. “I’ve got a date with Daniel.”

“A-a date?” Newt sputtered. He was just now noticing how nicely she was dressed.

“We’re going to dinner,” Tina said. 

“How nice,” Newt said, attempting to ignore the lump that was forming in his throat.

“I’d love to help you with the unicorns. Any other night, I promise.” 

But she didn’t. Tina was busy every night that week, either with Daniel or at work.****

The more dates Tina went on with Daniel, the grumpier Newt became. He never passed up on an opportunity to complain about the handsome Auror to anyone who would listen. 

“-and I mean he’s just ridiculously tall. Why on earth would anyone ever need to be that tall? He’s probably part troll or something. No, scratch that. It’s an insult to trolls.” 

Newt and Jacob were in the Kowaski’s kitchen, testing out one of Jacob’s new recipes. Well, Jacob was testing out the new recipe. Newt was just pacing across the kitchen, complaining about Daniel. 

“I dunno. He’s not so bad.” Jacob shrugged. “He makes Tina happy.”

“Well I don’t trust him,” Newt said. “He’s too charming. 

“Too charming?” Jacob laughed. “I think you’re just jealous.”

“Jealous?” Newt asked. “Why would I be jealous?” 

“Because you like Tina, and she’s been spending more time with him than she is with you.” Jacob said.

“I-I what?” Newt sputtered. 

“You like Tina,” Jacob said. “There’s no use denying it. Honestly Newt, it’s pretty obvious. Well, to everyone but her that is.”

“But-but I don’t.” Newt sat down heavily in one of the kitchen chairs. “Tina’s my friend. We’re friends.”

“And you apparently,” Jacob said. “Wow. I really thought you knew.”

Newt shook his head. His mind was racing too fast for him to be able to form proper words. 

“Have a cookie.” Jacob thrust a warm snickerdoodle into Newt’s hand. 

Newt obediently took a bite, even though he was too distracted to really taste anything. 

Was it possible that Newt like Tina in a romantic capacity? Jacob sure seemed to think so. So had his Great Aunt Magda, come to think of it. But that had been over a year ago. Surely Newt would have noticed if he’d had romantic feelings for Tina for over a year. 

No. Jacob had to be mistaken. Just because Newt liked spending time with Tina didn’t mean he liked her as anything more than a friend. Sure he thought she was beautiful, and when she smiled at him he got butterflies in his stomach, and his world was always brighter when she was around, but that didn’t mean-

“Oh dear lord, I like Tina!” Newt exclaimed.

“I knew it!” Jacob said. 

“Oh this is horrible!” Newt groaned, burying his face in his hands. 

“What are you talking about?” Jacob said. “This is great!”

“Really Jacob? Exactly how would this be considered great?” Newt asked. 

“You like Tina, and I’m pretty darn sure she likes you back. I’m pretty sure that’s like the definition of great.” 

“She’s dating anther man!” Newt exclaimed. “Not to mention the fact that she's my best friend.”

“I thought I was your best friend,” Jacob said. 

Newt glared at him. 

“Sorry. Obviously not helping.” Jacob said. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Our friendship is so great. What if I mess things up?” Newt asked, dragging his fingers through his hair. “She might never talk to me again. I don’t want to lose her.” 

“But what if you don’t?” Jacob said. “You could end up with something a hundred times better. You just have to decide. Are you willing to risk it?” 

Newt shook his head. “I honestly don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tha man wasn't that funny, just tall.  
> **He was decidedly not fine, unless you counted wanting to feed Daniel The Intruder to a dragon as fine.  
> ***There was something about Daniel that Newt just didn’t like.  
> ****Where she ended up spending even more time with Daniel. Stupid Auror office.


End file.
